Balancing States of Mind


Mantra for the day:

I will not be pulled off track by people who are not on track.

"I will love myself, and my body, for what it can do — because it is strong enough to lift, to walk, to ride a bicycle up a hill, to embrace the people I love and hold them fully, and to nurture a new life. I will love myself because I am sturdy. Because I did not — will not — break."

- Jennifer Weiner, Good in Bed

(Source: booksquoteslove)

"Miracles do happen. You must believe this. No matter what else you believe about life, you must believe in miracles. Because we are all, every one of us, living on a round rock that spins around and around at almost a quarter of a million miles per hour in an unthinkably vast blackness called space. There is nothing else like us for as far as our telescopic eyes can see. In a universe filled with spinning, barren rocks, frozen gas, ice, dust, and radiation, we live on a planet filled with soft, green leaves and salty oceans and honey made from bees, which themselves live within geometrically complex and perfect structures of their own architecture and creation. In our trees are birds whose songs are as complex and nuanced as Beethoven’s greatest sonatas. And despite the wild, endless spinning of our planet and its never-ending orbit around the sun – itself a star on fire – when we pour water into a glass, the water stays in the glass. All of these are miracles."

- Augusten Burroughs (via liquid-diamonds-flowing)

Anonymous asked: Hi there! I've only been following you for a little while but you seem really grounded and it's comforting to know that you can take a step back from situations, rationalise and take breathing space. :)) I was just wondering what your name is? Unless you don't want to say? Do you find blogging helps you and explain: why do you go to IP only for a few days a month? :)) xx

Hi! :)

I am going to divide this into 2 parts:

Thank you- I try to take a step back from things and breathe a little (it’s a work in progress!). Definitely easier said than done and definitely something that has gotten easier with time and practice. Blogging is something that helps me with that- I write to clear my head and figure out my own thoughts. It’s so much easier to organise emotions and work through them when they are put into words rather than swirling around. I find it much easier to communicate through writing rather than speaking (where emotions run high and I get too caught up in how I feel rather than the thoughts going around in my head) so yes….blogging helps.


(maybe a little triggering but mainly just long- why I go IP for a few days each month)

Mantra for the day:

I will not be pulled off track by people who are not on track.

help-us-heal asked: hun, i promise, the longer you stay at a weight the more comfortable you will become. when i first reached my maintenance i HATED it. i hated myself. but now, i can honestly say i am beginning to love myself <3


This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you, thank you, thank you honey! I hope I can get to the same level of acceptance you’re at, you are so strong and inspiring. I hope it is okay if I post this, I want to give all my followers the hope you gave me<3

[edited notes from my talk at the crisis centre]  TW

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I spent two hours at the crisis centre this morning in a 1:1 session and aside from WISHING I had stayed overnight like was suggested instead of thinking, "I’ll be fine", I really wanted to write down a ton of stuff we talked about while it is still fresh in my mind but I can’t because my second migraine in 72 hours is rolling in and I just want to curl up in a ball and this all to go.the.fuck.away.


This ones for the boys and girls who are weight restored but still battle their jumbled heads and disordered minds. I know how much this is killing you. You think nobody can see your pain anymore but I swear it’s still there, it’s in your eyes. And I want you to know that you’re a brave soldier for continuing on in your new body. I’m sorry you’re still hurting. But please know that your pain can’t be lessened through destroying your body. You’ve already learned that.


Things I had to realize before I was ready to recover:

  1. Numbing the bad feelings numbs the good feelings, too.
  2. Recovering doesn’t mean going back to how things were before my eating disorder.  Recovery is my process of leaving behind my eating disorder to get to where I want to be in life.
  3. Yes, some people will care more because I’m sick.  But maybe there are people who will love the healthy, functional me more, and maybe the healthy me will attract the people I truly need in my life.
  4. An eating disorder is like an addiction in the sense that it starts out feeling like a high, feeling wonderful, feeling like it solved all my problems, and then it deteriorates into a terrifying monster that controls my life.  It does not get better.  It only gets worse.
  5. Every moment of life matters.  You can’t get those moments back.  One day you look back and realize you’ve sacrificed years of your life to starvation in the hopes that your sacrifice will pay off.  It does not.
  6. There is hope.  You have to hope, or there is nothing for you to hold onto.  You held onto your eating disorder for so long.  Hold onto the hope instead that there is the possibility of something better for you in life.
  7. The process of recovery is hell — but recovered is better than anything you’ve ever imagined, and it’s worth every step you took through hell to get there.